Omg she answered me, it's not to late to apply for Dublin!!  So in September I'll take an appointment with her to talk about everything !! Hope I'll be accepted, one year studying in an other country, I can't believe it ! Now I have to work hardest as ever if I want to put all chances on my side (don't know if this expression exists in english ah ah)

It's done, after 3 months of hundred questions I finally chose Dublin. I'm goig to send an email to my college 's international relation office. Hope it's not to late.
Why Dublin?
- Not far from France, ok I wish I go to Australia, but it's the first time I leave the house for as long. It's    the first time I study in an other country so I prefer start in Europe.
- Money doesn't change ah ah it's easier (fucking argument I know!)
- Dublin seems a great town with many students.
- Trinity College!
- I could ( no I will) visit Ireland
- I 'll do my possible to have a room in the campus or I'll share a flat with Irish !
- GIGS, I can't live without going to concerts, I see that they are few metal gigs in Dublin, but Sydney seems to never heard of heavy metal ah ah so It's the last point which made tip the balance in favor of Dublin.

 Trinity College library <3

Ok do I kill myself right now or later?? I'm back from Paris, wake up at 7 am, took the train, wait for one hour in the crous for NOTHING, the guy was a young very nice arabian, really cool but he couldn't do anything for me, cause I have to go to my college (which is open only the 1rst September) to fix the problems!! So I paid (I mean my mother paid) 21 euros for nothing... I hate the fucking college administration. This year starts very badly, it's worrying.

Now, I go in town to buy a birthday present for my mother, and some stuff to prepare a cake: chocolate cake with marshmallows inside, "happy birthday "written with smarties and two little chocolate bears for the candles ah ah I'm mad.

edit : I'm exhausted, sweating like a pig (so sex isnt' it?) but it's done, fortunately the earrings where still there, the seller made a gift package ( I 'm not able to make that kind of thing, it's to precise for me I'm more talented to destroy ah ah anyway). Then I walked and walked and walked to the supermarket where I bought all I need for Sunday, the hardest is to hide everything until the d day.

Many things to do and not much time. Tomorrow I have to go to Paris to fix details in order to have my student grant. I paid 181 euros for NOTHING cause I should have brought a paper and my college should have sent this paper to the crous which should have paid the 181 euros. Fuck off so now I got to go to the crous to bring The paper and to prove that I applied for the next year. I'm in a deep shit cause I really really need this money, they have to repay me the 181 euros I gave and they have to give me my student grant. I have to pay 100 euros per month for the train + 300 euros for a fucking subway card + money for the books + 200 euros for social welfare + I have to collect money for the last year. Let's talk about it.
1rst choice: Australia, Sydney must be a beautiful town and the college is amazing, I could learn american civilisation, australian civilisation, literature... Then, It would be so exotic to study there but expensive cost of life and far (but It's more an advantage) and I have to pass my TOEFL soon, it's expensive and I'm not ready at all...
2nd choice: Dublin, It's not far from France, so I could easily back home for holidays, It's in Europe (money doesn't change), I'll learn literature, I'll study in Trinity College, it's really beautiful, the library is huge and Oscar Wilde learnt there ah ah, I would live in the campus, the cost of life is less expensive than Sydney, well it's not as exotic as Australia but I'll be outside my country so it's not so bad , concerning the disadvantages for the moment I don't find it plus I don't need to pass my TOEFL but the selection is strict, they chose the better students and I'm far to be one of them.
I don't know what to do. I really don't.

Travel is one of my passion, I went to Barcelona with school. I made a holiday camp where we went to Vienna, Prague, Berlin, Amsterdam and Bruxelles, I really enjoyed Amsterdam and Prague I really hope to go back there, specially in Amsterdam where we were not allowed to go ah ah, and Prague to visit Kafka's museum. Then in 2004 one of my best trip, it was also a holiday camp, The East Cost of United States, two days in New York, then we went to Washington D.C, Philadelphia (we went, of course, in the house where Declaration of Independence has been signed), we went to Canada to see the Niagara Falls, apparently it's more beautiful on the Canada side, we went to the Amish Country, really awesome to see these persons driving a car ... with horses, we also saw Boston, beautiful town, we had a tour to Harvard yes the famous university and at the end we spent the two last days to New York again. My favourite city, I love the Nature, deserted landscapes but NY is unbelievable you have to see it at least one time in your life.
Then no travel during seven long years (except festivals but it's not the same). And finally, in July I went to Wales and this travel changed my life,this trip confirmed my desire to travel around the world, spend my time on road, discover every country, see beautiful landscapes which are not destroyed by humans yet. Yes, that's what I want to do in my life, be a trekker.
picture: The Golden Gate (one of my dreams is to spend few months in San Francisco)

Yesterday and today (Y&T , for those who don't know it's the name of a heavy metal band.. anyway) were quiet days because I had to recover from Wednesday. So, two days ago I went to Paris and in the train, two "old" rich ladies sat next to me, and the older saw that I was reading Harry Potter she told me "oh you read in English, so do you speak English?" ah ah we talked for a while, they asked me questions about Paris.Then, I asked them where they came from, I first believed they were british, I was wrong. " Arizona" said one of them, oh my god, they live in the State where we can see the Great Canyon, I'm so jealous. I was happy to speak in english especially with two lovely american, even if we don't come from the same world (rich vs poor lol). The best part was when the younger told me that my english was really good, I was red-faced ! My english isn't so good, I have to practice a lot, read more english books, make lot of exercices but the only solution should be to go to an english country and stay for few months, but the problem is money as always.
So, after the train I met F and we went to a park with a bottle of cider and for each a can of beer (7.2% alcohol). Then, we decided to wait for the girls in the Corcoran's (an Irish Pub in Saint Michel), no fucking Strongbow, I was so upset mainly it was written on their website so I took a Magners. Girls arrived and we drank others ciders. After leaving the girls, F and me went to the Black Dog ( a so-called metal bar, there is only one barman who's not an asshole), we finished the evening there drinking lot of beers. And after that... no fucking memory, except on the train when I almost vomit, apparently I threw F's phone on a girl GOD I don't remember anything. It was Thursday morning I knew everything, and I was not proud of me, specially about what I did to him. I took the decision to stop drinking beer cause I can't stop me and when I'm drunk I'm violent, and I don't to be a bitch with F. Result: me and alcohol it's OVER. I realised that I wrote that in my previous article, but seing my alcoholic night you see the proof that I'm really useless and a boozer. So, I can drink some glass of cider only occasionally but spending all evening in a bar it's over. I don't want to screw again. I'm done with bullshit.

8 a.m and already in front of my computer, am I a "no life geek" ? only if I'd like video games ah ah... Spent a short night, thank the cats for that, the little one is a monster you have no idea,terrorising the others who are older... insane. I'm drinking my second diet coke, it going to kill me, since two years I'm addicted, it's horrible, sometimes my arms hurt me.. I said it, it going to kill me. Tomorrow I'll go to Paris to have a drink with college "friends" and F. I decided to stop drinking beer, It not going to miss me a lot compared to cider. I used to drink cider in France but when I went to Wales, in supermarket the cider aisle was so huge I've never seen that before. Too many kinds of cider, it was such like heaven and since I'm back here I see the miserable cider aisle with two fucking different ciders , I miss Wales. But fortunatelly I found an Irish pub in Paris with Strongbow (two hours on the internet to find it, where the hell am I living?), anyway tomorrow I'll try the pub, hope it will as good as in Wales , even if I doubt it. 

I don't know if this shitty blog will be read and I don' t care, I need to write. My head is going to blow up, it's full of worries.. I miss Wales , it was so beautiful, quiet and far away from my fucking life. Hope I'll go to Australia in one year, but I have to work a lot, pass my Toefl exam, read as many English books as possible. Stop being a fucking lazy person spending her days in front of a screen, doing nothing (except read blogs and travel websites). I give myself a challenge which is to read all Harry Potter books (I've already bought the first three so..) before September, it's going to be hard but I have to succeed it. I'm only at the first one ah ah I'm unrecoverable.. by the way my name is Helena. Welcome in a twisted mind!